Do Tell
Just be straight up.
Tell your partner how you feel. It doesn't help you, them or the situation if you keep the things that are bothering you to yourself. Keeping these feelings bottled up isn't healthy. If you need certain things from your partner to make you feel more secure in the relationship tell them. If they aren't meeting the requirements let them go. It's really that simple. I know it's hard when you really care someone who doesn't show the same amount of energy. There is the frustration of trying to not over step your boundaries, or hurt their feelings. However, if you are the only one suffering from bending backward for this person, compromising for this person and not getting your thoughts, feelings or needs heard or met its time to go.
Now I'm not saying ditch your partner if they haven't been fulfilling you needs in a relationship without being clear to them what your needs are. In the beginning of the relationship we tend to get a bit caught up in the moment, and the feeling of being someone's focus. Over time as you get to know each other better the need for that constant attention tends to fade a little bit. The "good morning" texts slow down, the"how are you? Where are you? I miss you. I love you," aren't as frequent. And we get discourage. "Does my partner not love me as much? Are they cheating? Do they even care?" starts to roll into our thoughts. And the fear of wasting time on this person slowly creeps in.
For me, my biggest fears are wasting time and cheating. My last relationship was a roller coaster of drama and heart break. I knew it shouldn't have went on as long as it did. It was unstable. He wasn't really there, I would get mad and sabotage us in some way or another. It was a hot mess. I never cheated on him, can't say the same for him but that chapter is over. I learned a lot from that relationship. I discovered that my love for a person can go way beyond me, the depth of my selflessness with him was insane. Love will make you stupid, take every piece of reason and rational decision making and toss it into another dimension. Self preservation? What's that? "I love them, I need them, they need me," all the things I would tell myself to justify why I kept trying to keep us together. Being with him was like playing poker under water. Like not being able to breath, but refusing to let them know you can't. It hurt so bad, he hurt me so bad. Emotionally, he never put his hands on me. But I had never been that open with someone. I'm still healing from it.
With that being said, I'm grateful I got through that part of my life. I know what I want out of a relationship and what I need from a partner now. I know what I will and will not tolerate. I know I still have my guard up a little bit with my current boyfriend. I trust him completely and I know he would never do anything to hurt me on purpose. We have open communication about everything. He has never made me feel insecure, or not wanted. He gives me the affection I need and the attention. It hasn't been all rainbows and sunshine but its a lot better then feeling like you're drowning every day. When we met I told him if I ever do anything that makes you feel uneasy with me let me know and I'll do the same.
What I'm trying to say is some relationships are worth trying to save and others are toxic. You won't know fresh air if you stay under the water.
Now I'm not saying ditch your partner if they haven't been fulfilling you needs in a relationship without being clear to them what your needs are. In the beginning of the relationship we tend to get a bit caught up in the moment, and the feeling of being someone's focus. Over time as you get to know each other better the need for that constant attention tends to fade a little bit. The "good morning" texts slow down, the"how are you? Where are you? I miss you. I love you," aren't as frequent. And we get discourage. "Does my partner not love me as much? Are they cheating? Do they even care?" starts to roll into our thoughts. And the fear of wasting time on this person slowly creeps in.
For me, my biggest fears are wasting time and cheating. My last relationship was a roller coaster of drama and heart break. I knew it shouldn't have went on as long as it did. It was unstable. He wasn't really there, I would get mad and sabotage us in some way or another. It was a hot mess. I never cheated on him, can't say the same for him but that chapter is over. I learned a lot from that relationship. I discovered that my love for a person can go way beyond me, the depth of my selflessness with him was insane. Love will make you stupid, take every piece of reason and rational decision making and toss it into another dimension. Self preservation? What's that? "I love them, I need them, they need me," all the things I would tell myself to justify why I kept trying to keep us together. Being with him was like playing poker under water. Like not being able to breath, but refusing to let them know you can't. It hurt so bad, he hurt me so bad. Emotionally, he never put his hands on me. But I had never been that open with someone. I'm still healing from it.
With that being said, I'm grateful I got through that part of my life. I know what I want out of a relationship and what I need from a partner now. I know what I will and will not tolerate. I know I still have my guard up a little bit with my current boyfriend. I trust him completely and I know he would never do anything to hurt me on purpose. We have open communication about everything. He has never made me feel insecure, or not wanted. He gives me the affection I need and the attention. It hasn't been all rainbows and sunshine but its a lot better then feeling like you're drowning every day. When we met I told him if I ever do anything that makes you feel uneasy with me let me know and I'll do the same.
What I'm trying to say is some relationships are worth trying to save and others are toxic. You won't know fresh air if you stay under the water.
Didd1y
My apologies guys last week was hard, I had a death in the family and work was horrible. Again I'm sorry for going MIA and not doing Fridays post.
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