Fear Not

I have a confession. I'm impulsive. I do things on a whim. I just start something without having an end game. Which can be a good thing, everyone needs a little spontaneous action in their lives. Unlike my sister and my roommate who are "planners", they plot ten steps ahead before making their first. They do tons of research before doing something or buying  something; while I, simply see how I feel at that moment and go from there. In most cases there isn't too much damage. There have been a couple occasions when I had to pick up the pieces after a poor decision. It's part of life, that's how we learn. I'm not saying live life throwing caution to the wind. I'm just saying if you're like me, take a minute to see where the stepping stones before you jump in the water. It'll save you some bruises.

I am working on this practice, slowing down and actually thinking about what I want to do and how I want to get there. I started a soap business last year, my anniversary just passed actually. Happy one year! It made me so happy. I was able to channel my inner artist and make a few dollars on the side. It was fun. It's still fun rather, I haven't officially stopped making soap. I just haven't had the time to rebuild it. Jamijam Soap Company, my little baby. The problem was I wanted to function like a factory, without the experience or the resources. I bought all the molds, all the soap cutters, all the fragrance oils, essential oils, organic olive oil, coconut oil, babassu oil, almond oil.... all the oils honestly. I fiddled with all the combinations of oils and color mixing to make these elaborate soaps I had no business making. Looking back now I was over zealous. Aiming for the stars with a sling shot of knowledge.

I wanted to be like the You Tubers and the Etsy professionals, pushing out all this well made beautiful soap they took years to perfect. I had no idea what I was doing. Shoot, I'm still trying to figure out how to do things half the time. What I can say is one, I should have started out small. Perfected my one recipe. Life doesn't have to be super complex, the simpler the better. Two, don't worry about what everyone else is doing. It's important in this life to not get so wrapped up in other peoples persona's. Their presented, filtered, cropped, and edited versions of themselves. No one is winning every day, they all had a long hard road to travel to get to this moment of happy.

I was never this confident when I was younger. If you look at some of my old blogs I'm pretty sure, past the typos and missing words, I didn't really talk too much about my feelings. Or maybe I did and I just don't remember. It was years ago. But growing up as a large black girl wasn't easy. It took me 25 years to love my body, to look at my rolls and the stretch marks and be happy with what I see. To be aware that I too am sexy. Attractive and deserving of love just like everyone else on this planet.

What I'm trying to say is don't be put off from something you want to do just because you see someone else making it look easy. A lot of time was put into their work to make it look seamless.  Don't be afraid to chase what you want. Just do it within reason. If you need that job to fund the dream so be it until the dream pays for itself. In time it will come together. You just have to keep at.

With that being said, my soap store will be back in action soon. Going to start small and grow slow and steady.

Thank you guys,
Didd1y